fear and loathing in foufounes electriques

well, it's been a while, hasn't it? i'll do my best to not take such a break again (that one's for you, Crystal). so, what's been up in my life? not too much...thesis topic accepted by the weirdos in the music theory graduate sub-committee, my mint chocolate stout (dubbed Junior Mints 'n' Bosco; a free beer goes to anyone who can name both references) was given a 39/50 score by a BJCP-certified judge (which is one point above excellent), and i STILL have not had a chance to go snowboarding this winter. i'm sitting here, Jay Peak season pass in hand, and i can't fucking get a ride.

so. foufounes. it was tuesday again, so i went to foufs...there is nowhere else that you can find good music, pool tables, and five-dollar pitchers. it was tough to find anyone to go...tuesday and all...and most of my friends are grad students (which in my opinion is bullshit. if you can't go out drinking every once in a while during the week, you are going to HATE your time as a grad student.)...whatever. finally, i convinced Kyle to get off the damn phone with work and come down for a few. he did, but i was already 3 pitchers in by the time he got there. during my observant alone time there (i am infatuated with people-watching...beats the hell out of bird-watching any day of the week), i noticed some very interesting characters. this is one of those great crowds...full of diversity in every sense of the word. let's run down the list:

punk: we have varying degrees here. there's the "i'm so punk, you don't even know i'm punk" people who you don't notice too readily. they may be wearing a punk shirt, slightly ripped jeans, etc. usually they are the older, more "battle-scarred" punks, ranging from mid 20s to 50s. these guys have been to all the shows, have all the albums, and may have punched henry rollins in the face at some point (or at least a guy who looks like henry rollins). on the other side of the coin, there's the "i think i'm so punk that i'm going to shove it in your face so much that you'll know i'm clearly not punk at all." you can hear these specimens coming with about 6-10 chains somewhere on themselves (wallet, nose to ear, etc). every piece of clothing on them is ripped (most likely intentionally for the visual effect), they are usually late teens or very early 20s, and are the most likely to get in a brawl that night. there are also punk girls, but often it's hard to make the gender discrimination especially through all the layers of chains, piercings, tattoos, and Rancid patches. (on a side note: how many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? three. one to stand on a ladder, the second to kick the ladder out from under him, and the third to say it's the punkest thing he's ever seen).

metalhead: i've dealt with these people most of my life (hell, i was one!). they're pretty basic: long hair, jeans, metal t-shirt. to them, nothing is better than talking about how killer the guitar work is on the latest Nevermore album, or how 1980s Metallica was the best music ever created, or how they wished they lived in the time of epic battles, maidens, and mead halls. the older ones will throw in oddly timed comments about how they played in some band "back in the day" and they were close to making it, if it wasn't for the commercialized rock industry. they're pretty harmless, mildly entertaining if you can laugh at absurdity, and definitely the people you want to talk to if you want to know about the Slayer back-catalogue or what type of ass cream Kirk Hammett used to use. if you need to know any more, go rent Airheads. who ever thought Brenden Fraser could accurately play a role?

goth: lots of different kinds here...there are the fetish goths, the black metal goths, the wannabe satanists, the "i go to classes on medieval swordfighting" goths...the list goes on and on. personally, i find the wannabe satanists the funniest. they walk around dressed in all black, mostly velvet and leather, wearing upside-down crosses and inverted pentacles inscribed with the face of the ::waves fingers in spooky manner:: dark lord of pain and torment. oooh, i'm scared! if these freaks are satanists, then i'm a bible-thumping catholic priest. often times, you may confuse one of these people with the "my darkened soul yearns to be in an Anne Rice novel" people. don't worry, it's hard to tell them apart...sometimes they can be both. and, most of all, they are like little animals in the wild, i.e. more afraid of you than you are of them.

that covers many of the types that you'll find at this wonderful establishment. there are more, too, like the flock of girls that look either too young, too out of place, or both. there are often some hippie types...not usually the DMB-fan types, but often the ones who have come to the realization that bands exist that aren't named "Phish". finally, there are the ones who are not there to create an image, not there to start fights, not there to slay dragons, but are simply there to kick back, drink cheap beer, play pool, watch skate videos, listen to good tunes, and have some fun.

the type that is never there (and this is one of the main reasons i go) is the frat guy. if you go to foufs, you will not see one flipped-up collared, golf-shirt wearing, shit-talking, roofie-dosing meathead.

so, after making these observations, Kyle showed up, and what happened after is blurry. from the looks of my wallet, i had 1-2 more pitchers, and then trekked up to 1+1 for a few slices. All-in-all a fun night...next day wasn't as fun, but i made it through.

anyway, i'm out for now.

on one last note, check out the best blonde joke ever.