(sigh).

ok, ok, Jen, you're right, my concept of soon is pretty out of whack. time for another installment.

well, so much to talk about, and so little time. little time in the day. little time in my program. little time in my stay in canada. or is it? i can already tell that this is not gonna be one of the more jovial posts. i'm confused. within two months, my life will be significantly different. i will be done with school (at least within the practical sense; thesis submitted, waiting for review, etc). i will be entering the 'adult' world. i will be moving. i will be in one of many different places. and here is where the confusion sets in. i could stay in canada, i could move to NJ, i could move to some other part of the US... i guess i'll break it down:

option uno - i move home for august and begin work at a brewpub in september (i've got about a hundred resumes out, and a few look promising). i start the progression towards my dream without delay.

option dos - i have a job offer here in canada working as a research assistant for my thesis advisor. it pays very well, it's interesting work (basically continuing my thesis research, but getting paid to do it), the people are cool, i get to stay around my montreal friends, i can pursue a possible romantic interest, i can have some cash to put away until i need to either go to brewing school or live on minimum wage while i intern at a brewpub.

option tres - i go to NJ to work in the same job i've done for the past six years (strutural engineering work). it pays better than the montreal job, i live at home and save the money i would spend in montreal on rent, food, beer, etc., i can finally own a car again, i can see my PA buddies more than once a year, and i can put away a lot more cash than if i stayed in montreal. i also can have my knee surgery within weeks instead of about 9 months, as it would take in canada.

if option uno pans out, and i can afford to live off of the minimal salary of being a brewer's bitch, then there is no question about the decision. but if it doesn't, i have no idea what to do. moving back home is the easiest, but then i might miss out on a good number of things here, like: the few amazing friends i have up here, the website idea Dave and i came up with, another chapter in the nightmarish book entitled 'Nick's Badly-Timed Attempts at Relationships', the amazing vibe of this city...all those wonderful things.

on the other hand, my knee gets worse and worse every day, and i haven't even been called yet about setting up a simple consultation appointment with the surgeon, whose waiting list i was added to over two months ago. i need to be able to travel all over the US relatively simply in order to go on interviews at the prospective breweries, which is a little difficult if i have a full time job in canada. i also might need to save about 10 grand to attend brewing school and get a certification, which would be much easier to do at home due to the large reduction in costs.

the worst part about it all is that i have to decide about these things within the span of around 10 days. (sigh).

on a very mildly lighter point, i have my first 10 pages of my thesis written. it doesn't sound like much, but for me, it's given me a small boost of confidence that i really can get this fucker done.

and on one last note, i cannot wait to brew again. and there is not any method of text formatting to let me stress that enough. all i do when i'm not working on my thesis is read my brewing books and come up with new beer ideas. but i have no time to brew them, especially since i might be moving from my apartment within a month. once i figure all this shit out and get my thesis done, these brews are on deck: latte stout (coffee stout with added lactose), mango stout (i really think it will work), pomegranate lambic, imperial ned flanders red (super strong flanders red). more to come.