chewing on the joker.

well, BK called me out with his comment about how rarely i've been posting, and i'm not gonna put up with that shit, so here goes...

well, to continue on my teaser from the last blog, i'll give you the whole story: i went to Media a few weeks ago for some unabashed debauchery. i arrived to Panger's place, with him waiting for me outside his apartment with a PBR pounder can for me. Pangz is the man. that night was pretty normal...hung out at his place with Jim, Ian, Dennis, etc. the true hilarity came the next day, after a long wait for decisions to pan out and the night to begin. it began with a ridiculously large order for dinner from a nearby Italian place. Dennis ordered a large cheesesteak calzone. Wheelz got a small calzone. i saw the small and thought it was the large, exclamating, "Holy Shit! That's ridiculous," with Wheelz responding, "That's the small one, man." Then, i saw that the large was so big, it needed a 16" pizza box. this calzone was so big, that every time anyone looked at it, they broke into hysterical laughter. Dennis, who is a big, big dude, took a massive piece off of it, one that was big even for his hands, and it barely reduced the size of this motherfucker. we estimated it to have 6-7 cheesesteaks worth of chipped beef in it. needless to say, money stated getting thrown down.

basically, i told wheelz that he couldn't eat the rest of the large calzone after he ate his smaller one. he accepted when 40 bucks was offered. then Amy told him he wasn't allowed to try. they argued for a bit, with Wheelz backing down. at least until we went to party without Amy.

then, we all went to scott's house, so the gang composed of: Wheelz, Pangz, Ian, Dennis, Greg, me, Scott, and Allison (Scott's special lady). here, me and Wheelz started shotgunning PBR pounders, finding ways to make a beer bong using kitchen appliances, and basically drinking copious amounts of cheap beer. thankfully, Allison realized when it was a good time to head to bed, because the competitions started as soon as someone brought the 2/3 of a large calzone out to the table. after it was down to a little over a third of its original size. we offered Wheelz about 25 bucks to finish it. he started taking monstrous bites, much too big for his chewing ability. after slowing down (and almost choking a few times), he finished it. for some bizarre reason, someone had mentioned eating the top of the pizza box. (we're weird, I don't deny it). i offered 40 bucks, and the total came to over 60 for him to eat the whole top...also, this was a corrugated cardboard box, not one of those flimsy ones. well, he took two bites, started eating it, and that's where it ended. he was so disappointed that he shouted, "damn!...alright, i'll eat the joker!!" and he grabbed the joker out of the deck and chewed it down.

to sum up the rest of the night, we drank more, i ended up eating a dollar bill, wheelz, dennis, and pangz left early, some weirdos from next door showed up and kicked the ever-loving shit out of some kid in the street, some nympho 45 year old from down the street started hitting on the rest of us, then left. interesting night.

well, as of today, i'm 9 days past my knee surgery. i've got some work to do now, but I will post about that ordeal in a day or so.

take it eas'.